Passion and Obsession
Passion is a natural instinct for something, which generally stays permanent. For instance, your love for music, art, flowers, traveling or entertainment does not die. Obsession is a craving for some object; a culmination of passion into the desire for possession resulting from exposure. Passion for something may not change or would only increase or decrease in degree, but obsession for an object is likely to diminish or switch to other objects over time.
Choose someone who is happy and successful. Everyone wants to be happy and successful. You therefore would like to idealize someone who has made marks in your field, who has stories of achievements and is likely to share joy if not the fruits of achievement. Happiness transfers quicker than sadness. On the contrary, one who has a lot of stories of failures might be a resourceful person to listen to, but not one you should rely on and go after. Stories of failures would help by subtly warning you of the pangs of failing, but never let you know how success matters. One who has repeatedly failed has no fruits to share with you except frustration.
A true friend is one who selflessly offers you a cup coffee and does not expect you to pay, or asks you to pay simply because he does not have money. Next time you come together, he will pay and never allow you to. One who repeatedly sings your praises but never gets ready to pay for a cup of tea is likely to have been making plan to ditch you. People who criticize you on the face, or thrash you for a mistake, are very unlikely to make a plan to finish you. A true friend is ready to slap and get slapped.
Good parents do not compare one child with another in front of both. They do not compare the kids with those of neighbors or relatives. They compare the kid for different aspects of them. I like the simple way, “You are the best, you are the chosen one as a child. But you are not good enough for certain things. What you did today is much better than what you did yesterday.”