I went to Morang all of a sudden. I had no plan till 3:30 p.m. on April 2. When Apsara called me home for a ‘discussion’, I thought it was her plan to rush to Kathmandu in order to join her sister. But she wanted me to go along despite anything, or manage her journey by plane. I had to decide in five minutes. There was a ghost of determination in her that clutched me so tight that I had no escape.
One of those frustrating days in the department. After a meeting with students, and on recollecting some of their complaints, I was on the verge of deciding to quit doing anything on media, and at the same time had the sense of greater burden of responsibilities. I was torn between choosing to work from two perspectives. I was thinking April 3 would be a day for a serious beginning. But I decided to set off, for Apsara’s remark that she would never want to make our sons like me – indifferent and aloof from parents and grandparents for a long time. “How will you feel when Anurag and Hridaya grow up, leave home and hardly turn up?” This hit me hard. And I knew I needed a break from the current burden, and give a few days for the loving families.
For a long time (grand) parents wanted to see us. Or everyone wanted to see Hridaya. We could not go home in Dashain because he was too small. We could not go later because Koshi was on our way. There was only one reason why we would not go this time – the impending strikes in the highways and the possibility of being stranded for days with the babies during this hot season and amidst potentially heartless agitations. Apsara angrily forced me to decide; Anurag appealed me to accompany. And there were regular calls from home. I would be a dead tree no to listen to the call of the wind blowing from all sides.